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Two or three years ago, I first heard the story of Orpheus descending into the underworld to rescue his wife.Orpheus’ wife Eurydice died in an accident, and her soul descended into the Underworld. Deeply devoted to his wife, Orpheus resolved to journey to the Underworld. He sought to move Hades, Lord of the Dead, with his music, hoping to earn permission to bring Eurydice back to the living. But Hades imposed one condition: Orpheus must not look back at his wife until they had reached the surface. As they neared the exit, fearing she might lag behind, Orpheus turned to look at her. In that instant, Eurydice vanished forever, condemned to remain in the realm of the dead.

At the time, I couldn’t understand: couldn’t he just endure it? Why did he have to look back, ultimately losing his chance to save her? I was certain then that if it were me, I would endure it no matter what.

两三年前，我第一次听到俄耳浦斯下冥府救妻的故事。俄耳浦斯的妻子欧律狄刻因意外去世，灵魂进入冥府。深爱妻子的俄耳浦斯决定前往冥府，用音乐感动冥王哈迪斯，获得允许带妻子返回人间的机会。但冥王有一个条件：在到达地面前，俄耳浦斯不能回头看妻子。临近出口时，他因担心妻子落后而回头，结果欧律狄刻瞬间消失，永远留在冥府。

当时我不解：他就不能忍一忍吗？为什么非得回头看一眼，最终错失了拯救妻子的机会？我当时笃定，如果是我，无论如何都会忍下去。

Until just a few days ago, I began to truly grasp this story. I realized that I am that person who constantly looks back. I often think of returning to the past and changing certain decisions; I deeply regret my mistakes and the choices I didn’t make, endlessly thinking, “If only I hadn’t done that back then, or if only I had done this instead.” I’m trapped in these thoughts, even losing faith in the future because of them. My friends say I dwell too much on the past. But why shouldn’t I look back? Must I just grit my teeth and keep moving forward?

直到前几天，我开始真正领悟到这个故事。我发现，我就是那个总爱回头看的人。我时常想回到过去，改变某些决定；我会因为自己的错误和未做的决定而深深懊悔，不断想：“要是当时不那样做就好了或者要是当时我这样做了就好了。”我陷在这种念头里，甚至因此对未来失去了信任。朋友们说我太沉湎过去了。可是为什么不能回头看呢？难道我只能咬牙一直向前走吗？

The problem is, I truly feel trapped in a moment from the past, like being stuck on a level in a game, unable to progress no matter how hard I try. Perhaps someday in the future, I’ll find a way to beat it; but instead of choosing to bypass it and move forward, I stubbornly remain there. It sounds contradictory: both a deliberate choice and a passive imprisonment. My feeling is simply—I’m stuck.

问题是，我的确被困在了过去的某个时刻，像是停在游戏的一道关卡里，不管怎么尝试都过不去。也许未来的某一天，我会找到通关的办法；但我没有选择绕过它、先继续前行，而是固执地停在那里。听起来矛盾：既是主动选择，也像是被动囚禁。我的感觉就是——“我被困住了”。

Those unfinished stories haunt me; those unmet goals keep me awake at night. I cannot let them go, nor can I begin a new chapter. So I began to wonder: How should I move forward? How can I stop constantly looking back? I started searching online for answers and once again encountered that familiar myth—the story of Orpheus and Eurydice. This time, I think I understood the hidden meaning within.

那些没有完结的故事让我耿耿于怀；那些未达成的目标让我寝食难安。我无法放下它们，也开启不了新的篇章。于是，我开始思考：我该如何前进？如何不再不断回头？我开始在网上搜索方法，再次遇到了这个熟悉的神话——俄耳浦斯与欧律狄刻的故事。这一次，我想我理解了里面隐含的寓意。

Orpheus turned back out of desire to rescue his wife, yet also out of fear, curiosity, and the need for reassurance. This is human nature. Orpheus looked back because he didn’t believe his wife would truly follow him; he feared she might get lost behind him. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to move forward—he wanted to turn back and confirm she was still there. But in the silent darkness of the Underworld, she couldn’t respond. Yet that very silence and darkness made him crave confirmation even more, creating an endless cycle. We humans are no different. In love, life, and even family relationships, we constantly look back to confirm—to see if others still love us, if they still care. We want to confirm love remains → we want to draw closer → their response is vague → we fear loss even more → we look back again. We’ve poured our wisdom, effort, love, and sacrifice into holding onto certain people or things, yet they slip away. This isn’t because we’re inadequate, but because some relationships are destined to end, and some problems simply can’t be solved at this moment. “Looking back” is an attempt to control the outcome; “not looking back” is choosing to trust yourself.

俄耳浦斯因为欲望去救妻，又因为害怕，好奇，想确认而回头。这是人性。俄耳浦斯回头，是因为不相信妻子真的会回来，她会不会跟在后面走丢了；其实他并不是不想往前走，而是想回头确认她是不是还在，但是冥府里面她在后面她不会有回应，可无声黑暗的”冥府“又让你更想确认，于是无限循环。而我们作为人也一样，一直在爱情、生活甚至家庭关系中回头确认——确认别人是不是还爱你、是否仍在意我们。想确认爱还在 → 更想靠近 → 对方反应模糊 → 更害怕失去 → 更回头看。我们曾经用尽了智慧、努力、爱和牺牲，却仍然留不住某些人或事。这并非因为我们不够好，而是因为有些关系注定走向尽头，有些问题此刻确实无法解开。“回头”是想控制结果，“不回头”是选择信任自己。

I used to be just like him, filled with regret and inner turmoil, afraid to move forward, constantly checking to see if what was behind me was still there. But this “looking back” wasn’t for reflection or to better navigate the future—it was like the Orpheus’s dilemma: the moment you turn around, you remain trapped in the “underworld.”

Only death belongs wholly to the past. That is why dwelling solely on the past is like waiting for death. Refusing to move forward means having no future; without a future, one can never alter the present predicament.

我原来和他一样，心中充满悔恨和内耗，害怕前行，不断想确认背后东西是否仍在。但这种“回头”，并不是为了复盘、为了更好地迈向未来，而是像俄耳浦斯式的困境：一回头，就会停留在“冥府”里。

只有死亡永远属于过去。这就是为什么一味停在过去，就像是在等待死亡。拒绝前行，就意味着没有未来；没有未来，便永远无法改变当下的困境。

I think when I first got stuck at a certain stage, unable to move forward. I feel there have been many pivotal moments in my life where I’ve been left with profound regret over things not turning out as I’d hoped. It seems to have started around my junior year of middle school, as the high school entrance exams approached. While others were making their final push, I grew increasingly anxious, my rankings steadily slipping. I’d gaze out the window, staring at the big tree before me, wondering: What will I be like ten years from now? What university will I attend? What kind of career will I have? Who would I meet? Who would be by my side? Just like Doris Day sang in “Que Sera, Sera”: “What will I be? Will I be pretty? Will I be rich?” Back then, I was filled with doubts and fantasies about the future. Yet through high school, college, graduation… I experienced too many disappointments and regrets beyond my control. Looking back, I often feel sorry for that younger self sitting by the window. Back then, I yearned for the future, but now I’m trapped by the past. I constantly wish I could return to those moments of regret to change the outcome, filled with countless “what ifs” and remorse over what I would or wouldn’t have done. Yet every attempt only drags me into endless self-consumption and self-blame—all for nothing.

我在想我是什么时候开始卡在某个阶段就这样过不去了呢？我觉得有很多关键的人生节点，我都抱有着强烈的事与愿违的遗憾。时间节点似乎是从初三临近升学考试时开始，别人都在最后冲刺，而我却越发焦虑，排名不断往下滑。我曾望着窗外，盯着我眼前的大树想：十年后的我会怎样？会念什么大学？有怎样的事业？会遇见谁、陪着我的又会是谁？就像Que sera sera 中Doris Day唱的那样：“What will I be? Will I be pretty? Will I be rich?（我将来会成为什么？我会变得漂亮吗？我会变得富有吗？）”那时的我，对未来充满疑惑和幻想。然而，高中、大学、毕业……我经历了太多事与愿违与无法掌控的遗憾。回头看，我常觉得对不起当初那个坐在窗口的自己。那时的我憧憬未来，而现在的我却被过去困住。我总想回到那些遗憾的瞬间去修正结局，总有很多假设和悔恨如果我回到过去我不会或者会做些什么。但每次尝试都只让我陷入无尽的内耗和自责，而这不过是徒劳。

Oasis has a song called Don’t Look Back in Anger. As the lyrics say, “Will slowly fade away, So I start a revolution from my bed, Cause you said the brains I had went to my head, Step outside, summertime’s in bloom.” The past will eventually fade like smoke; the past remains just that. Step outside now—summer is in full bloom. Seizing the present and moving forward. Only the future can truly alter outcomes. The future is written by one present moment after another. Only by moving forward now can past regrets be redefined.

Oasis 有一首歌叫Don’t look back in anger。别在愤怒中回首。就像里面的歌词里唱到“Will slowly fade away，So I start a revolution from my bed， Cause you said the brains I had went to my head， Step outside, summertime’s in bloom”往事终究消散如烟，往事终归会是往事，现在走出去，夏日正灿烂。把握现在往前走。真正能改变结果的，只有未来。而未来由一个又一个的当下书写。只有现在向前走，过去的遗憾才有可能被重新定义。

Perhaps one day, that pain will cease to matter; perhaps it will prove a turning point in life—like the old saying, “A blessing in disguise.” So much so that future events, as the song goes after “Que será, será,” become: “Whatever will be, will be The future’s not ours to see, Que será, será.” What must happen will happen; the future lies beyond our grasp. Let it be. Do your best and leave the rest to fate.

也许有一天，那些痛苦会变得不再重要；也许它们反而是生命中的转机——“塞翁失马，焉知非福”。 ” 以至于未来的事情也如Que será, será后面唱的那样“Whatever will be, will be The future’s not ours to see, Que será, será ” 该发生的终将发生，未来非我所能预见，随遇而安。尽人事听天命。